Healing - A road to more fragmentation?

Dark horse with white mane

Lately I experienced the interaction with many professionals who offer their services around equine health. There is a problem with one of my horses, in the horse world it is deemed to be a serious problem! I don't want to name it here for a simple reason ... it would spark more argumentation and leading away from looking what is going on "behind the scenes":

As a horse owner I have always the best for my horse at heart and I consider all the options that are being put onto my table.

Scenario: The horse is sick, you call a professional. The professional comes and does something and gives you his/her opinion and makes suggestions and leaves you to implement it? Ok, right, the horse might not heal maybe slightly improve or not, you go back to your orginal health professional and maybe engage a second one. The scenario would be exactly the same ... professional comes and does something and gives you his/her opinion and makes suggestions. 

In the meantime you have talked to your friends about the problem and the well meant suggestions are rolling in. You are putting them all on your table to consider. In the meantime you have gathered 15 different recipes for diet, vitamis and minerals. Of course you already have tried many of them and have collected your own experience.

It seems however that you need to follow the advise of the health professional if you want to have success and help your horse heal. The tug of war has started within you. A notebook is not big enough to write everything down, nor is your nervous system strong enough to cope with all of it. By this time you have well and truly progressed into self doubt. The voices within you are getting louder and more demanding. So once more you tell yourself you just have to be strong enough for the time to go through all this until the horse is well again.

The down spiral has long begun and you are truly on the way to rock bottom!

Then it hits you ... you are so exhausted that all you want to do is just throw everybody out that wants to help you by telling you what to do. And I feel a strong urge to cry out: "What about me? Maybe I should eat all these herbs, homeopathics and other remedies together with the horse. By this time I might be as sick if not sicker than the horse.

How wonderful would it be if a health professional actually acknowledges me as an integral part of the process of the healing, after all I am the owner, I spend my time with this horse and I am carrying everything emotionally, physically & financially. If I am not well, my horse will not be either.

And the well meant suggestions come, thick, fast and unsolicited as well. "He has to loose weight!" is for example something that I hear since quite some time. I know that the horse is overweight. I want him to loose his weight by increasing his well being, emotional happiness and by stimulating his spirit. He has lost weight, slowly over time and even though people are seeing it rather than acknowledging it, they just say: "He has to loose more!" This makes me feel very sad. All my dedication and devotion to a gentle uplifting process of loosing weight seem to be just not good enough. How would you feel, if you are on a diet and you are loosing weight - slowly but happily - and people come and can only see and hold what is not done yet?

I really would love to have people stand with me holding a vision of health, happiness and dignity for my horse. A holistic apporach to me includes everything around it. I try to walk a path of dignity, respect and appreciation, building a connection to the people around me, after all, so I assume, we all want well being, happiness & collaboration with each other, a true seeing and nurturing of each other.

Instead it feels like a war, yes, the weapons are different (plant remedies, homeopathics, etc) but nevertheless a war. We live in a world where optimal health is the only acceptable state of being, everything else just points to that something is wrong with you (animal) and needs to be fixed - NOW. Can we just let go of our ideas and appreciate what is, knowing that we are all travelling towards well being anyway? 

For now I just feel sad and very tired because I allowed myself to get entangled into the fight for well being.

“And Allah took a handful of the south wind, breathed into it and created the horse. YOU I have created without compare. All the treasures of the world lie between your eyes. Virtue is braided into the hair of your forelock, I have given you the power to fly without wings and triumph without sword.” Ancient Bedouin legend

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firehorse dancing with my horses